So, I'm officially broke for the next few months. Here's to a quiet and hopefully fulfilling three weeks of university break, where I hope to get much work done, much reading sorted and much bodily rehabilitation in order.

I'm surprised by how much I miss them.

Those busy people, tapping away incessantly, churning out quality news articles. I miss them, as it turns out, quite a lot.

In the short close encounter of a day, maybe two, I feel like I had gotten to know some of them. The good chats, the learning, the persons - accummulating into a pool somewhere deep inside me, resonating to...

Goodbyes never do well...never do justice to the real things forged. At times, it's so much easier not to say it. As if admitting that things HAVE ended, save for the last few hasty seconds of handshakes and cries of 'goodluck'.

I wonder what has become of me.

KitSing, KitSing...sometimes you think too much...and sometimes when you should, you just don't do what you think you should.

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused.
Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange.
You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids.
However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed.
Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make........ ........

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Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child.
You might think the same way, I guess.
Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision
most people would make, morally and emotionally.
But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact
made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.
This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday.
In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society,
the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority,
no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined.
And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens..
If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe.
If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake!
And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made,
we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right.'

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

Packing my lappy to leave home soon for another sleepless night... Damn, life is so miserable... It's the 4th night, hope everything could be settle down...

I'm drunk...

Great is the day when struck, you refrain from striking back. Even though doing so would have been your right, would have been a huge victory. On that day, you will have gained much, you will have grown much. That is the day you realise that it is never about winning, but about who you are, and who you are becoming.

I have had that day, and sometimes think that those days will help to remind me of the beauty in life. And if those days are difficult, then give me difficult. Because difficulties will pass, leaving behind invaluable strength of character. And...a smile.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Everyday.
All day.

Each of us, we saunter, march, run...even try to flee through our lives. You can never flee. Life surrounds you like a thousand needles. Small, sharp, piercing. And we all need to grow up. But how? How to leave behind the trails of the past? I often wish for complete metamorphosis, oh that life would be so easy!

And so it is that we must be as orphans, wandering strange, unknown paths. Tussling in the wilderness, alone. Me: For I must need to know my own strengths and weaknesses, limits and growth. What fun and challenge is there when we keep relying on another?

Every nanosecond is new, spend it well.

When darkness falls

everything fails

there is only me

no one else

I need time out

to think

this time

I really do need to be left alone

I need to face the world alone

and also, myself

(not necessarily in that order)

for only in solitude am I able to uncover the discrepancies

to rely on no one else.

***

I'm off to search for peace, or absolution, or confrontation. Whatever it is...I want to find it.

Alone in the library... Damn cold here... I just notice that it's like committing suicide when one actually agree to do an assignment that is suppose to be done by 6 people, alone... How I wish someone will be here to help me out... I need help... T_________T

This thing will never end, if I still can't take anger from other as nothing... Words that is suppose to mean alot from others has meant 3 times the impact for me... Help me... This is not the me that I want...

Darkness, darkness!

How it chimes out like faraway glowing cities upon a hill on a midsummer's night.

I'm walking away from you.

There has been some trust issue between the group member since last semester... It all start when we have decided to not include certain name for an assignment... Seems like last semester is not the end to it... People tend to keep things in heart and always have the doubt in the 3 of us, not mentioning their name... What else can I do to make things better??? I have already drop one of the subject for this semester to avoid any possible outcomes of misunderstanding... Yet, they still tend to think that the mastermind roles come in me... Teach me... What else can I do...

Die headache die.

Like a drunkard without awareness, I meander across the room...navigating only from memory. I feel my bed and

flop onto it

like an unconscious frog.

Cynicism -

The word like a dagger pierces my thoughts, mutating their fuzzy lines, it spreads.

I wish I could turn back time.

~REMOVED~

Recently I felt extremely idiot and stupid..wat to do..this past few weeks a lot of shits had happen..life isn't the same as before..too many downs too little ups.. I want back my life... Arghhhhhh

I've finalized my timetable for this sem and it actually turn out to be a boring one... A class a day makes KitSing a dull boy... ~nuff say~ It can't be help since the previous timetable is slowly killing my life, my sleep... That's the best I can figure out for this sem...

sundays, I'm not in love. I doubt I've told anyone this before but I hate sundays, especially in the evening. sunday marks the end of my weekend where classes is gonna start on the following day. and during the evening, i would feel so emo cause the feeling of being so lifeless is there. its like, everything is gonna end soon, and you're basically doing nothing at home. oh well.

FOSS.my 2009 Conference (FREE)

FOSS.my 2009 is South-East-Asia's largest grassroots Free and Open Source Software (FOSS) event. It is our second such conference - we aim for this to be an annual event bringing together professionals and enthusiasts from Malaysia, South-East-Asia and the rest of the world for a two day grassroots driven FOSS conference.

We've got an excellent line up: 4 keynote speakers, 28 great talks and 8 Bird-of-Feather side sessions.

Richard Stallman (rms), the father of Free Software, will be keynoting on Free Software Movement, GNU software and GNU/Linux. There will be a substantial Q&A session where you can ask him your questions and even get an autograph. We're arranging for Free Software Foundation merchandise to be sold so you can show your support for the FSF.

Secondly, Brian Aker will keynoting on Drizzle and MySQL database engines. He is the Director of Architecture at MySQL AB and he kick-started the Drizzle Project (an important fork of MySQL 6 which is jointly developed by Google, Canonical & Sun). He also worked on other MySQL storage engines (Archive, Federated, Memcached, CSV, Blackhole & WebMethods (HTTP) Storage Engine).

Our two Malaysia keynotes will be opening and closing the conference, respectively. John Lim is our opening keynote. He is the principle author of the ADOdb database abstraction library, an extremely widely used web infrastructure software, and it started right here in Malaysia!

Dr Yusseri Yusoff is our closing keynote. He has done amazing amounts of "behind-the-scenes" work in pushing through FOSS within the public sector and industry in Malaysia. He was instrumental in kicking off the Open Source Competency Center (OSCC) and many other FOSS government and private sector initiatives.

All in all, we have also got more international participation this time around:

James Morris (author of the kernel Crypto API, contributor to SELinux, LSM, Netfilter and IPsec)
Pradeepto (KDE hacker and co-founder of KDE India)
Harish Pillay (Fedora community, Open Source Architect/Evangelist RedHat Singapore)
Harish Mallipeddi (Performance Engineering team, Yahoo! R&D India)
Giuseppe Maxia (MySQL community)
Of course, Malaysian FOSS hackers will be present in full force. Redhuan Oon of ADempiere ERP fame, Nur Hussein on running Linux on Big Iron machines, Kris Khaira on Drupal, Errazuddin on Zend Framework, Mohan on Tomboy Web Sync, and many more will be presenting.

Check out the conference schedule: http://foss.my/2009/schedule/

Registration packages are available here: http://foss.my/2009/registration-overview/

If you would like to register for the conference, please go to: http://foss.my/2009/registration/

We look forward in seeing you at FOSS.my 2009!